The Rabbi & The Shrink

Episode #1: Everyday ethics?

April 07, 2021 Yonason Goldson and Margarita Gurri Episode 1
The Rabbi & The Shrink
Episode #1: Everyday ethics?
Chapters
The Rabbi & The Shrink
Episode #1: Everyday ethics?
Apr 07, 2021 Episode 1
Yonason Goldson and Margarita Gurri

2:30 What’s the connection between ethics and civility?

Stephen L. Carter says in his book Civility that Civility is the root of Civilization.

An ethical mindset creates the relationships that lead to a civil culture.

5:00 How do we create a civil culture when we disagree on our (allegedly) shared values?

The truth is we can’t.  We have to first identify those values we are all invested in, then we have to engage in conversations of constructive disagreement so that we don’t devalue each other.

7:00  We have to deal with family members with whom we don’t see eye to eye.  What are some of those issues?

Do masks infringe on individual rights or do our responsibilities to the general welfare take precedence?

If we use the letter of the law as an excuse to circumvent the spirit of the law then we’ve missed the point that law is a guide to responsible civic conduct.

11:30  Does science prove that masks help?  How can we believe officials when we are presented with conflicting data?  Should lay people base their own decisions on their own interpretation of reported data?

14:00  Since we face so many political and social issues that require ethical judgment, why doesn’t the department of education mandate at least one course in ethics?

16:00 How do you teach ethics?  Start with critical thinking by understanding both sides of an issue to acquire a more complete and more mature world view.  See Jonathan Haidt: https://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_haidt_the_moral_roots_of_liberals_and_conservatives?language=en

18:30 “E is for Ethics” https://www.amazon.com/Ethics-Ian-James-Corlett/dp/143918254X/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=e+is+for+ethics&qid=1612969349&sr=8-1

19:00 Why aren’t you a communist?  You have to know the “me” before knowing the “not me.”

What are the barriers to having difficult discussions?

We first absorb our values from our environment.  Sometimes it’s scary and threatening to seriously consider another point of view.  It's easier to surround ourselves with people who think just like us.

23:00 How do you rebuke without shame?

Deb: First identify something positive, then ask permission to offer a critique.

Dave: When you challenge, people reflexively shut down.

Richard: Preserve their positive self-image.

30:00 How do you start a positive conversation about ethics?

Richard: I want to be the best person I can be.

First articulate back what has been said to demonstrate understanding before arguing, then coming at the issue obliquely rather than head on.

Rather than “why,” ask “help me understand.”

JoAnna: ask questions that evoke empathy.

40:00 A willingness to listen to sound arguments and see past stereotypes allows us to cultivate intellectual integrity and revisit our beliefs.

There has to be that willingness to hear people out and understand their positions.

49:30 Recognize differences between men and women’s styles of communication.

55:00 The Jewish process of repentance: stop the behavior, feel remorse, verbalize the apology/confession, make a plan not to repeat the behavior. 

58:00 word of the day:  Ultracrepidarianism.  Expressing an opinion or giving advice outside one’s area of expertise.

How we represent ourselves is a function of ethics.



Show Notes

2:30 What’s the connection between ethics and civility?

Stephen L. Carter says in his book Civility that Civility is the root of Civilization.

An ethical mindset creates the relationships that lead to a civil culture.

5:00 How do we create a civil culture when we disagree on our (allegedly) shared values?

The truth is we can’t.  We have to first identify those values we are all invested in, then we have to engage in conversations of constructive disagreement so that we don’t devalue each other.

7:00  We have to deal with family members with whom we don’t see eye to eye.  What are some of those issues?

Do masks infringe on individual rights or do our responsibilities to the general welfare take precedence?

If we use the letter of the law as an excuse to circumvent the spirit of the law then we’ve missed the point that law is a guide to responsible civic conduct.

11:30  Does science prove that masks help?  How can we believe officials when we are presented with conflicting data?  Should lay people base their own decisions on their own interpretation of reported data?

14:00  Since we face so many political and social issues that require ethical judgment, why doesn’t the department of education mandate at least one course in ethics?

16:00 How do you teach ethics?  Start with critical thinking by understanding both sides of an issue to acquire a more complete and more mature world view.  See Jonathan Haidt: https://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_haidt_the_moral_roots_of_liberals_and_conservatives?language=en

18:30 “E is for Ethics” https://www.amazon.com/Ethics-Ian-James-Corlett/dp/143918254X/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=e+is+for+ethics&qid=1612969349&sr=8-1

19:00 Why aren’t you a communist?  You have to know the “me” before knowing the “not me.”

What are the barriers to having difficult discussions?

We first absorb our values from our environment.  Sometimes it’s scary and threatening to seriously consider another point of view.  It's easier to surround ourselves with people who think just like us.

23:00 How do you rebuke without shame?

Deb: First identify something positive, then ask permission to offer a critique.

Dave: When you challenge, people reflexively shut down.

Richard: Preserve their positive self-image.

30:00 How do you start a positive conversation about ethics?

Richard: I want to be the best person I can be.

First articulate back what has been said to demonstrate understanding before arguing, then coming at the issue obliquely rather than head on.

Rather than “why,” ask “help me understand.”

JoAnna: ask questions that evoke empathy.

40:00 A willingness to listen to sound arguments and see past stereotypes allows us to cultivate intellectual integrity and revisit our beliefs.

There has to be that willingness to hear people out and understand their positions.

49:30 Recognize differences between men and women’s styles of communication.

55:00 The Jewish process of repentance: stop the behavior, feel remorse, verbalize the apology/confession, make a plan not to repeat the behavior. 

58:00 word of the day:  Ultracrepidarianism.  Expressing an opinion or giving advice outside one’s area of expertise.

How we represent ourselves is a function of ethics.