The Rabbi & The Shrink

Episode #7: Generosity?

April 29, 2021 Yonason Goldson and Margarita Gurri Episode 7
The Rabbi & The Shrink
Episode #7: Generosity?
Chapters
The Rabbi & The Shrink
Episode #7: Generosity?
Apr 29, 2021 Episode 7
Yonason Goldson and Margarita Gurri

1:00  Generosity is an expression of kindness

Theologically, the world is built on kindness

When we give, it validates us, empowers us, and makes us partners in creation


3:00 Generosity is natural to children, but then we grow out of it

Babies are takers; if they don’t get what they want, they scream and get it

Parenting is the job of weaning the child off of the need for immediate gratification

Most of us aren’t trained to be parents


6:00 Overly generous parents raise entitled and selfish children

Is there such a thing as true altruism?

Why would anyone choose the pleasure of giving over other pleasures?


10:00 Does the pleasure of giving negate the pure motives of giving?

If I want to be a giver, then I’ll give even without the internal desire and thereby acquire the natural impulse to give

Manners: acting artificially polite for the sake of contributing to a better society and culture

The prisoner who acted generous in order to con people and then became “addicted” to being good


14:00 Maimonides: most of life is habit -- by developing good habits we reserve mental energy for challenging decisions

Steve Jobs’s wardrobe

Create a joyful rhythm for life


16:30 Every morning ask yourself: what do I need to do today to be a better person than I was yesterday?

The definition of a good person is someone who’s trying to be a better person.


19:00 We need to have goals to better ourselves

The story of the rabbi and the miser: one little act can lead to much bigger acts

Is it better to give a thousand dollars to one cause or one dollar to a thousand causes?

Giving is for the giver as well as the receive


24:00 Is it better to give anonymously or publicly?

Some people need recognition; some people need to see that others are giving before they will give

Ideally, good deeds are best when they’re done modestly


27:00 Jewish law forbids giving more than 20% to charity so the giver won’t become a charity case

We have to take care of ourselves first before we can take care of others


32:00  Kindness and justice combine to create compassion, which is the essence of charity


34:00 What if a person puts himself in financial straits because of pride?

A rich person who loses his money is ashamed that he can’t maintain his former lifestyle: how do you make a calculation between psychological pain and physical deprivation?


38:00 How do we meet the needs of a person who needs charity but is ashamed to ask for it?


40:00 Looking for creative ways to help others helps them and us


42:00 Look for the real request behind the words


45:00 Sometimes we have to save others from themselves


47:00 Word of the day: Athazagoraphobia 

Fear of forgetting, being forgotten, or being ignored

We all want to be valued, which means we need to be worthy of being valued


50:00 We are all important; we need to recognize our own importance

If we wait for the approval of others, we may never get it

Make the choice to be wonderful and let that be its own reward


54:00 We can’t control how people treat us, but we can control our response


56:00 Since it’s better to give than to receive, the greatest give you can give another person is the opportunity to give

When done with pure intentions, taking can be giving

Show Notes

1:00  Generosity is an expression of kindness

Theologically, the world is built on kindness

When we give, it validates us, empowers us, and makes us partners in creation


3:00 Generosity is natural to children, but then we grow out of it

Babies are takers; if they don’t get what they want, they scream and get it

Parenting is the job of weaning the child off of the need for immediate gratification

Most of us aren’t trained to be parents


6:00 Overly generous parents raise entitled and selfish children

Is there such a thing as true altruism?

Why would anyone choose the pleasure of giving over other pleasures?


10:00 Does the pleasure of giving negate the pure motives of giving?

If I want to be a giver, then I’ll give even without the internal desire and thereby acquire the natural impulse to give

Manners: acting artificially polite for the sake of contributing to a better society and culture

The prisoner who acted generous in order to con people and then became “addicted” to being good


14:00 Maimonides: most of life is habit -- by developing good habits we reserve mental energy for challenging decisions

Steve Jobs’s wardrobe

Create a joyful rhythm for life


16:30 Every morning ask yourself: what do I need to do today to be a better person than I was yesterday?

The definition of a good person is someone who’s trying to be a better person.


19:00 We need to have goals to better ourselves

The story of the rabbi and the miser: one little act can lead to much bigger acts

Is it better to give a thousand dollars to one cause or one dollar to a thousand causes?

Giving is for the giver as well as the receive


24:00 Is it better to give anonymously or publicly?

Some people need recognition; some people need to see that others are giving before they will give

Ideally, good deeds are best when they’re done modestly


27:00 Jewish law forbids giving more than 20% to charity so the giver won’t become a charity case

We have to take care of ourselves first before we can take care of others


32:00  Kindness and justice combine to create compassion, which is the essence of charity


34:00 What if a person puts himself in financial straits because of pride?

A rich person who loses his money is ashamed that he can’t maintain his former lifestyle: how do you make a calculation between psychological pain and physical deprivation?


38:00 How do we meet the needs of a person who needs charity but is ashamed to ask for it?


40:00 Looking for creative ways to help others helps them and us


42:00 Look for the real request behind the words


45:00 Sometimes we have to save others from themselves


47:00 Word of the day: Athazagoraphobia 

Fear of forgetting, being forgotten, or being ignored

We all want to be valued, which means we need to be worthy of being valued


50:00 We are all important; we need to recognize our own importance

If we wait for the approval of others, we may never get it

Make the choice to be wonderful and let that be its own reward


54:00 We can’t control how people treat us, but we can control our response


56:00 Since it’s better to give than to receive, the greatest give you can give another person is the opportunity to give

When done with pure intentions, taking can be giving